galauing night :((

well, i don't think that my english on this post will totally correct, but that's it, i'm just trying to express my feelling now. oh ya before, i wanna say welcome blogger, this is the first time i'm using blogger. and i am sorry the layout of my blog is too simple because i don't like if it is full of everything hehe and also i still don't know clearly how to design it hehe.
huft, actually i wanna cry but i don't think that it will decrease what i am thinking now. i also scare my family will see me cry hehe. okah, yah i was and until now i still trying to do it, but see nothing change, even if i tried my hardest it will more difficult. for me now, i am nothing. i hate myself, only because of that and then i hurted? what the hell happen to me?. how special u r for me, but see, in ur mind maybe i'm just a friend of u, even maybe i can say i am just a person who r stay in the same class with u. sometimes i feel jealous with them, who has many possibilities to get the heart of the one who they do love. but me? ouch!
but in other side, don't he wants to thank me cause i have love him perfectly that other girl may never do like what i do before until now?. oh god, i need u now. r u listening to me? but U, can't i have a chance to get ur heart? how pity i am.
don't u know how much i love u? don't u know how many tears have fallen for u? how bad and ugly i am? can u hear me? can u answer those questions? well okey then, thanks!